Family: how much did it influence my reading?

In lieu of the #YAsaves discussion that erupted online, I decided to turn inward. I wanted to think about how much my family, specifically my mother, played in my love of reading.


I asked my mother and sister the same kind of questions to see how my mother saw her own parenting in relation to reading and how my sister's reading may have differed from my own.


Erin, twenties


What is your first book memory?
Reading a Fudge book??? I think that is what is was and realising there is no Father Xmas.


(Nice...Judy Blume reference off the bat. 'I still love 'Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing'....does that novel spoil the notion of Santa?)


What were your favourite books as a kid, and as a teen?
RL Stine and then Looking for Alibrandi, Tomorrow When the War Began


(It is with pride that I note that these were all books that I read and were passed down. My grandmother gifted most of the RL Stine which is pretty cool. The Marchetta is well loved in my family.)


What role did you parents play in your reading?
Hmmmm, I think we were encouraged.


To what effect did the reading habits of your parents have on your own reading?
None


(My dad didn't read - hasn't read a book since 1967 if I recall my eight grade project. My mother read in front of us quite a lot, especially on Sundays).


How would you categorise your reading as an adult? What do you like the read?
Occasional reader, usually when on planes. Anything really, true crime, thriller, tear jerkers.


(Same childhood, different reading paths. I read all the time - always have. I can't stand anything true crime or detective driven...)


Mum, fifties


What is your first book memory?
Chinese Fairy Tales


(My mum grew up in Dundas in the 50s/60s so I find her reading something cultural diverse to be really intriguing. Definitely makes me wonder if the choices my grandparents made, and the books my grandmother sent to my siblings and I, represent the open-mindedness in reading. Or maybe it just sounds weird to me?)

What were your favourite books as a kid, and as a teen?
Chinese Fairy Tales and a book about a duck which had a ring around his neck - the duck was called Ping. As a teenager I can remember reading the book called "The Little Red School Book" which had been banned and gave lots of information on sex, contraception and explained some of the mystifying terminology that older people used.


(My mother, the rebel. Think back to my Forever days... I looked up this book and it was banned in Victoria and Queensland in 1972. Two Danish school teachers wrote a book all about sex and drugs. You can find out more here.)


Did you make a conscious decision about your parenting in relation to reading?
Can't remember a conscious decision about reading, but do remember doing readers with you particularly and getting library books (but I don't remember helping you choose them) I think your early teachers did more than I did. And as you had advanced reading skills I do remember you reading things like Saddle Club etc which were aimed at older children than you were. I also remember that my mother used to send you lots of those books and you devoured them.


(I think Erin was the one that read Saddle Club, I was reading Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High and RL Stine - not Goosebumps ewww.)


How would you categorise your reading as an adult? What do you like the read?
I like to read travel documentation but have more difficulty reading now as my eyes are tired and I can't read without glasses.


(Really, really not looking forward to that. I can remember how heartbroken my grandfather was when his eyes couldn't take in the newspaper anymore.)


Would you tackle reading with your children now on reflection?
On reflection, I would have my children spaced out further apart and choose a partner who helped more, so that I could have more one to one time with my children and books. It was difficult to juggle three children's competing needs after school with books and quite frankly I didn't do it well quite a bit of the time. I would like to make reading more exciting and interesting.


(Frankly, that's a hard question. Parenting on reflection isn't really that much fun. Mum had three kids under four - I am surprised she had time to shower, let alone encourage us to read. And she did - she modelled reading for enjoyment, made sure there was lots of reading material in the house, took us to the library and all while she worked...she underestimated herself. Plus the joy of being the bossy elder meant that I could impart my wisdom, or perhaps just my overbearing nature, onto my younger sister and brother. It trickles down, people.)


In my case - I was born a reader. I was brought up in a family where reading (and education) were valued but not emphasised. I am the product of a non-reader and an occasional reader. My sister is an occasional reader, my brother is an internet and back of dvd reader and I read a lot. We were brought up in the same family, in the same schools with the same resources and we all differ in terms of our reading choices.


How much did my parenting affect my reading choices? Not a huge amount. I think I would have read no matter what. I was always ahead of where I "should" be. But having access to books at home, seeing my mother read for enjoyment, good teachers and regular library access all had a role. My primary school teachers and librarian were all amazing individuals - my mother was right to credit them.


But my mother never corralled our reading. She wanted us to read whatever interested us. My grandmother was also an influence. She would send boxes of books (and other crap) regularly - I always loved the Babysitter's Club Super Specials the best. We lived in a small town in the country so we didn't have bookstores - only the library. New books came in the form of care packages every few months. Paradise for a book nerd.


I find it interesting in my mother's response that she was reading books that were banned in her childhood and teen years. Her parents may or may not have influenced what she read. I cannot conceive that my grandmother would have approved her reading The Little Red Schoolbook but I think my mum would have found it anyway. I suspect this in turn affected her choices on what we could read...anything we wanted.


I don't even know if mum knew I was reading Stephen King novels at 10/11. Or Judy Blume's Forever - though I did get in trouble for that one at school (read here.) It didn't matter - I was reading. If it were too much I would do as John Marsden and Judy Blume suggested, I would have stopped reading.


I would like to encourage you to reflect on your own reading and how much, or how little, your family influenced your reading.

The Vampire Diaries #2: The Secret Circle - you in?

I was judgemental about The Vampire Diaries, I admit it. I won't ever read the books (though I have respect for LJ Smith) but I have a kernel of love for the television show adaptation in my withered heart.

But did you know, the US network CW have picked up another show reinventing LJ Smith's vision? It's paranormal again but this time around it's all about the witchy ones.

And here we go... THE SECRET CIRCLE

• Yes, that is Life Unexpected's Britt Robertson as Cassie. 
•  The town is called Chance Harbor - ick
• The blonde boy next door needs a serious hair cut (90210 - the early years called and they want their hair and leather jacket back).  He's unfortunately a homegrown Aussie - we claim no responsibility for his throwback look!
• No principal is that attractive...even if they are, they are so stressed they fail to look so in a very short amount of time.
• Adam might be cute in some circles but to me he shall always be the whiny John Connor in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
• Phoebe Tonkin (Australia's own) is working it as the bad girl Faye - she's the only one that makes an impression out of the entire cast.
• If someone you don't know takes you to an abandoned house in the woods - DON'T GO!
• Gale Harold (aka older strange dude / Diana's dad) - can do charismatic and twisted just as well as Ian Somerhalder.  But he doesn't have sparkly blue eyes :(
• "If you're reading this and I'm gone..." letters are lame.
• Odds are drunk, weird dude is probably Cassie's dad

While I sound skeptical, I was about TVD too.  I wrote it off and if you look back at the first few eps of TVD you'll remember why.  I know nothing about the book series so any guesses above are based purely on the 6 minutes of the pilot episode.  

I guess we'll see about this one....

YA Saves: WSJ thoughts...

My mantra in life is “the only way out is through”. You can’t avoid, you need to tackle your issues and wade through the mess until it’s left in your dust and you’re stronger.

We’ve all had rough roads. Some more than others. Those who have been blessed not to have suffered hardship are probably feeling guilty for having been let be. Whether upbringing or circumstance – life isn’t sunshine, puppies and roses. But we all aspire for it to be that. We want love. We want peace. We want to be happy.

But sometimes happiness can feel alien, or worse…impossible.

The Wall Street Journal published an article that branded YA as “… rife with explicit abuse, violence and depravity.” Which it is not. That's like saying golf is a stick and a ball plus weird hats.  It removes storytelling from the equation, simplifying it to subject matter.  I can do that too - with a Nicholas Sparks novel (death, death, death, tears, death.)

Young adult literature isn’t about pigeonholing – dividing readers by gender, age or preparedness, it is about shining a light on the plight of others. Whether that is stewing over having red hair, suffering from unrequited love or living in the aftermath of tragedy – it allows the reader to sympathise, empathise and ultimately became more understanding and less judgemental.

I grew up in white bread country towns where there was little to no diversity. I don’t mean just cultural diversity either – everyone was the same. Everyone was white, everyone was straight, everyone believed in God, everyone played sport (whether they were proficient or not) and everyone saw life in the same way. But the secret is – not one of those statements was true. It just appeared to be. The perception was hurtful, a prison for teens wanted to discover their own identities. The pressure was too encompassing.

And yet there was an out.

Reading allowed me to see the world through many different eyes.

Their truth, their stories.

Reading Forever (Judy Blume) allowed me to make choices from my teen years onward about how I wanted to be treated by boys and more importantly, how I would allow myself to be treated. In reading the mistakes and misfortunes of others, I had a hand to hold through the treacherous obstacle course that are the young adult years.

Books can’t protect us from life, they aren’t a Kevlar vest that we can affix to our chests and la-la-la our way through life. But they are a buoy. They allowed us to feel less alone, relatable and understood.

I cannot know what it is like to be a minority. But in reading books that deal with the complexities of racism and cultural exclusion, I have a better idea. I am not making wild guesses, I am experiencing the world through those glasses.

I cannot know what it is like to be a mother. And yet I have read stories about teen mothers, stressful relationships between mothers/daughters and teens contemplating adoption/abortion that allow me to better understand.

I cannot know what it is like to be a teen boy. But I have a better idea now from reading YA.

I’ve read books that detail rape, murder and abuse but not one motivated me to replicate these actions. They didn’t make me murderous, or vengeful. They inspired love in me for those who suffered, for those who trudged through, for those who prevailed. What the WSJ fails to realise is that these stories aren’t about the violence, they are about the hope. They are about getting “through”.

In preventing teens from reading books with darker storylines we are doing them a major disservice. It feels like we’re judging those who have experienced profound tragedy and abuse. That their stories need to be shielded from the world. That they don’t belong to be heard. In hearing these stories, we support them. In reading these stories, we understand. In experiencing these stories, we value our humanity. It’s not about the aggression, the senseless cruelty. It’s about human connection.

Ultimately teens will read what they want to read. Readers, no matter their age, censor themselves. If a book makes them feel uncomfortable, they put it down. If they continue reading, it is for three purposes: 1) it is a class text and they have to, 2) it is so badly written that they need more chuckle-fodder or 3) it provokes thought. Choice is vital. Choice is universal, not solely for those with the largest or loudest (or most widely distributed) voice...but for all.

#YAsaves

**Recommendation: if you are feeling alone the Post Secret is a fantastic addition to your blog reading - "PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."