Guest Blog: Mo Johnson

Mo Johnson's Boofheads is a great read, you can order it via dymocks.com.au and their online store. It recently got recruited as part of the additional reading list for grade twelve here in Australia which is definitely a champagne moment! Mo has been infinitely patient, lovely and collaborative. I can't wait to read Something More...

Custard Pie
In my new book Something More, out at the end of the month, the main character, Isla has a ‘Custard Pie’ Theory.

(Thanks for the idea all those years ago, Brian).

Literally it’s this: Just when you’re dressed to the nines and feeling super good about yourself, someone will rush at you from the wings with a custard pie.

Unlikely-unless you know some odd people.

Metaphorically speaking the CPT can be applied to any situation and you can easily Custard Pie yourself.

Isn’t it just another name for Murphy’s Law or Sod’s Law? I hear you ask.

Yes, it’s similar but there’s one important difference:
With CPT there’s always the element of someone being put back in their place or taken down a peg or two. Usually that someone is me.

I have been storing delicious samples of custard pie in the freezer for years.

I was just trying to squash this one in there too, but thought instead I’d share it with you.

As I don’t write full-time I always find it difficult to think of myself as a writer. Just yesterday I met a friend for lunch. Her mother -who I haven’t seen for years - was with her. She was on holiday from Melbourne. She has a very thick European accent.

At one point she was telling me she once worked in a library and then I sort of lost the thread for a second before I heard her say ‘and I just so happy I get to meet a real writer.’

‘Oh, who was it?’ I asked, excited by the possibilities.
They both looked at me and laughed.
‘She means you,’ my friend said.
I was quite disappointed.

Anyway, what I’m saying is that if you usually don’t think of yourself as a writer and have a job that’s got nothing to do with writing, it’s a really great feeling to come home one day and receive the very first copy of your new book.

This happened to me last week. I opened it with trembling fingers, hugged it, ran to the fridge and poured a glass of wine and sat there like Miss Author of the Year. But no one was home and pretty soon waving it in front of the dog wasn’t enough.

So I turned on my computer and clicked on ‘photo booth’ a program that lets you take pictures of yourself. I held the book up to the camera and took the shot.

It was ready in an instant but you could only see the book. That wouldn’t do. My face had to be there. I was the writer. So I did it again. I looked terrible, so I went off to the bathroom, put some eyeliner on and fixed up my hair.

Then I took the photo again. It looked okay but I was the celebrating author, I should have been holding the wine too.

I tried again, and again and again until finally I got one that I liked. I copied it into an email to all my family in Scotland and to anyone else I thought might be even half interested.

Then I waited for the onslaught of electronic congratulations.

The first one arrived. It was succinct. ‘What the hell is it called?’

I went back and looked at the photo I’d sent to everyone to show off my new book.
LMAO! Thank you so much Mo for your great debut into blogging! I think it's only fair that we now all share our custard pie moments...anyone?